It's not easy being a stand!
by Houki Minami
Summary: Self-explanatory. It's not easy being a spiritual being with crazy powers. The little monologue of some of the Stands of our favorites JoJo Heroes and Villains


**Now, after that story, I decided to make a little fic of my favorites franchises:JoJo! What goes though the heasd of Yoshikage Kira's feline stand? Well, thanks for reading and stay golden!**

**JJBA doesn't belongs to me, of course.**

**~~x~~**

It's not easy being Queen Killer ...

Let's startwith my appearance: Ridiculous, at least . I don't know what goes on in Kira's head to think a cat-man is something scary. Whenever my user would wash his face for another day, I looked in the mirror and did not see a decently badass stand of the great evil of Part Four of the franchise, but a half-naked-noseless-luchador-ridiculously-muscular-girlish-pink-colored-catman. The fact that my owner is a Japanese David Bowie does not help at all...

The second bad thing about being me is that I only work a few times a year ( Except that time when that student with ridiculous hair, his dwarf friend and his nephew gave me and Yoshikage a hard time). Yoshikage liked to spend more time with girlfriends than causing destruction and chaos out there, unlike the users of my colleagues **The World** and **King Crimson**. Now let's look at it this way: Kira is a great boyfriend, and since his girlfriends don't ask for much, some rings and manicure ( Rsrs. .. ) it can completely devote to them, which is, let's say, touching. Of course , then they would start to stink, and Kira would decide to leave them, since the situation would be out of hand(Ok, KQ will now stop with the puns) and seek another partner. Then I go into action, which does not last a few hours. Follow this order : 1 - Find pretty girl; 2 - Talk to pretty girl ; 3 - Take pretty girl to a dark alley; 4 - Explode pretty girl ; 5 - stay with the new girlfriend . What puzzles me is the fact Yoshikage not even hypothesize to make sculptures of the hands of others and takes them home, as they can be together forever . But then, something hits me: Poor jap David Bowie can not just go and say " lady, give me your hand so I can go out with her." The work is clean and fast , so I can't actually complain...

Another bad thing about being me is every absurd that my user make me do. To stomp a cat-plant to disarm him (In the most graphic way of the words) for an escape. I'll Say, Kira is a great strategist , and I'm proud of it , but sometimes he extrapolates a bit : Kira , you just do not look at the feet of your enemy and risk being caught just because their socks are inside out ( I wear sandals ) ; Kira , you're not keep telling yourself that will take vengeance on your enemies when your "son" is a Stalker with family problems; and more important : Kira ... You do not , DO NOT, speaks of your life when you could just use my B**ites the Dust** to go back in time! But hey, he's a serial killer, so it means that he practically throw the term "common sense" out of the window...

Another thing from the previous item, I usually take the worst when it comes to mano-a-mano. Taking a punch from Star Platinum , slam-dunkedby Echoes , and punched to death by that stand more effeminate than me (not that I care, after all, it happens all the time in **the knights of the zodiac**). Sure, Yoshikage my user usually also receives the punch , as we are bounded, but when you're intangible and invisible to pillar-face, Modern-Maia and Bruce Willis Jr., and then , out of nowhere , your user say to a beautiful nurse he had erotic dreams with Leonardo's androgynous abomination and liked to use the nails to see when the season rabbit begin for him, and then FINALLY transform the hottie nurse in a vortex-bomb. But , alas, too late, as the dwarf buried my hand , the Mayan hitted me with Empowering Blows , and my user ends up turning into pancake. Long story short : We lost , and we were sucked into the private hell - heaven of Yoshikage Kira . And he also asked me to break out those hands... Well, it was the end, and I was kinda okay with that...

But then came the stairway to heaven! Pucci and his Stand " Gangnam-Style-horse-d*ck" rebooted the universe , and I had an Upgrade : I looked much more badass, with bubbles that caused explosions on touch, and my user was now a true sadist with one hot sister and the Kujo Jotaro of that dimension . I hoped that, with those powers , the new Kira 's personality and being a joestar , we could be the protagonists of Jojolion ...

But ... unfortunately not. Again , the Kira of this dimension screwed everything up when he decided to play with dirt, and eventually lost his balls, literally, to another guy, with which merged with another man and formed the protagonist. Well , it can't not be that bad. I , despite not being the explosion-holic I once was, still maintain my dignity as a Stand and I'll protect my new user with everything I got. Again,** it was not easy being Queen Killer...**

**~~x~~**

**Thanks for reading! English is not my first linguage, so if there's some unholy errors, PM me and will correct it as soon as possible. Stay golden!**


End file.
